Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
