So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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