I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
