There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
