I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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