You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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