Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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