bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
