He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
