Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
