Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
