You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
