As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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