I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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