Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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