There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize