best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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