I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
