She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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