Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
