just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
