you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
