Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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