i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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