how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
