I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My Sexting was not on an AP level
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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