Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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