I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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