plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
