I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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