i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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