oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
