Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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