he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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