i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
