i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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