She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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