In the future we'll all be gay
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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