I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
