Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I could fuck to npr.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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