I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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