I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
