I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
