I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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