Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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