with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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