I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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