Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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