yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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