last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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