you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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