you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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