She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
