My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
