Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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