Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
