ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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