so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
