i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
