What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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