Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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